Chalkboard Chuckler Gifts

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

Information booth attendant solves equation

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

'Fancy a swift half?'

"The figures would seem to indicate that you're not really a scientist."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

The History Teacher

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'Charles Darwin explains how he came up with the phrase 'Well I'll be a monkey's uncle'.'

'Is it ‘there's method to my madness' or ‘there's madness to my method?' I always confuse the two.'

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"This was Professor Brunzberg's office. He spent half his life trying to solve this equation and the other half he has spent wondering who actually cares about this crap."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Every once in a while my right brain throws something in.'