Boating Comedian Gifts

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Japanese Whaling

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

Tom Cruise

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Man painting MOM on boat

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

'Thank goodness you're here!'