Cruising Comedian Gifts

Tom Cruise

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Bicycle sat nav.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Japanese Whaling

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Recalculating

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Walking the Plank.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'We're drifting apart.'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I got one this small.'

Fish near-death experiences.