Drive-time Comedian Gifts

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

"I need to tinkle."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"Take me home now!"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Road work next 15 years.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Trapeze artists commuting

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Metrocard error messages

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Need a Lawyer?

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Speed Checked By Radar.

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"I have found a house in your price range, but it will be a long commute every day from Greenland."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

Bus Stop Evolution

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

'I don't like this. . .'