Comedian Driver Gifts

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

"I need to tinkle."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

No Hand Signals

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Ducks crossing.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'