Comedy Driver Gifts

"I need to tinkle."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Ducks crossing.

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Insomnia

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Learner Riders

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'I've been glamped!'

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Detour 50c.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

My other dog is a golden retriever