Comedy Motorist Gifts

'I'm sensing a lot of road rage.'

"I need to tinkle."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"It's garage music."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Lucky car.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

No Hand Signals

No U-turns

'Power steering.'

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.