Comedy Driver Pillows

"I need to tinkle."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Insomnia

Ducks crossing.

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

Speed Checked By Radar.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

Learner Riders

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'I've been glamped!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Detour 50c.

Let Go and Let God

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'