New Driver Humorist Pillows

'Yes..You may take your hands off of 10 and 2'...

"I need to tinkle."

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Ducks crossing.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I've been glamped!'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Detour 50c.

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

"Okay...when the light turns red, you stop. When the light turns green, you go."

"Before I have anymore, who's driving tonight, me or you"

This lane reserved for average persons only.

Caution: Armed Student Driver