Dark Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Lawyer lists his billable hours on tombstone.

"But first let me give you the good news."

'It's not 'just like taking towels from a hotel'...'

"Someone's misfiled Harrington."

Santa loads his sleigh with a survival book, entitled: 'How to cook reindeer'.

Narcolepsy Clinic.

101 uses of a dead cat: divination.

"I love these confessional shows"

'If it was up to me, this would be grounds for dismissal. But my boss wants to give you another shot.'

"Psst. Polly wants crack."

Vampire's postman.

'What do you mean you don't rent helicopters?' (Santa shot all his reindeer)

Police patrol car with chalk body outlines on it.

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

'Who, the hell, hires a clown for a funeral?'

Coke-Xtc-Bar

"I can't REALLy see the point of installing a smoke alarm..."

A New Doom & Gloom Will Open Here Soon.

"I've always been a great believer in trial and error."

'I like it down here, mind you I lived in Peckham.'

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Cannibal recipes.

"Gerald always insists on having the entire family around for Christmas!"

Rabbit horror movie

Lenin's Tomb "Remains to be seen."

Mafia Shrinks

Malpractice Specialist.

"I had no choice, sheriff. He drew on me."

"Beats me, all I did was cough on him and he fainted."

"I don't know why I never got a second interview. I thought I killed the first one."

'I like being my own boss, but there's no job security. For example, if I get caught, I'm not eligible for severance pay.'

"How serious is it doctor?"

Skeleton/ Grim Reaper paramedic wears jacket with the word; 'Pandemic' instead of 'Paramedic'.

'To hear victims screaming, please press 1. To hear victims begging for mercy, please press 2. To hear the sound of rolling heads, please press 3.'

"We'll have to open you up again - We need to settle a bet."