Dark Comedy Fans Gifts

'....let me introduce Beelzebub from HR, he'll sort out your contract.'

Grim Reapers protesting against euthanasia Death Not Jobs

'No need to worry - I'm a master butcher!'

'Oh, yeah, they take you in, dress you up and make a big fuss over you...then one day, you're out on the curb waiting for the wood chipper!'

"Stop telling me to live in the present!"

'Quiet Hospital Zone.'

" 'Abandon all hope' only comes in the sweatshirt."

'Guess who.'

"A dark night of the soul? I had one of those once! OK, here's what you do: book passage on a Caribbean cruise, buy a new car and a couple gazillion-inch TVs. As I recall, that pretty much took care of mine!"

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

"Oh, 5 is his lucky number."

"You quit smoking, you ate healthy food, you were sporty....and then you got run over by a bus. Nobody can say that I don't have humour!"

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"So much for death with dignity."

"We're ALL gonna have to up our game now!"

"It looks like we'll die as we lived, Warren...birdwatching."

'My wife refused to let me have her pet pig for the feast, so...'

Skull Removal

"Corona is a hoax! Forget the stupid mask, be free and self determined and have a party! C'mon, I'm buying you a drink!"

Living with your mother makes waterboarding look easy.

'Yes, I wear a dress and hack people to death, but I'm still right for this job.'

"Technically, it's not your time but we're sick of all the complaining."

'T.S.I.F.'

'I'm a victim of identity theft.'

Transylvanian Snails.

'Well, a good service makes satisfied customers!'

Disgraceland - Elvis lying dead by the toilet.

'... till death do you part?'

Horse vans: Horse of the Apocalypse

"You're a real sicko, dude."

No, I had no idea there was an amazon.co.hl.

John? John Kovaleski?? Well, I'll be damned twice!

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Before Delta screws it up again."