Danger Evaluators Gifts

Trust me, it's scarier than the skull and crossbones ever was!

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

First Aid Box

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'What went particularly well?'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

'You say here you're a people person.'

'Caution! Quick sand in this area.'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in h

'It just makes it seem more interesting.'

'Those are my best tights, don't you dare ladder them !'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

"They always give us minimum-wage, part-time guys the riskiest jobs."

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"Are you sure this is the only place we can smoke?"

Sailor finds mine in his soup.

"I see your son has a summer job."