Life Evaluator Gifts

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'I'd just like to go back to the 'all this' that Ed took me away from.'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Life and Death

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'My whole life flashed before my eyes. I want to talk to the guy who did the editing.'

Sex Score

Life is just four letters...

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

Hearse on an emergency

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

'The New Year break really gives you a chance to have a fresh look at life...at what you're achieving with your limited time on this earth.'

'You say here you're a people person.'

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

'Where do cartoonists, like you, get your ideas'

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

The seven ages of dudes