Life Assessment Gifts

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Retiring from the rat race

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

The meaning of life...

'The New Year break really gives you a chance to have a fresh look at life...at what you're achieving with your limited time on this earth.'

"Are you ready to rock within your means so as not to lose sight of what’s really important?"

I like worms --- I just don't know if I want to make them my life's work.

"So, what inspired you to study engineering, get married, find a job, move to the suburbs, have a couple of kids, and grow old?"

'Sometimes I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day -- but I wouldn't list it under 'career goals.'

Planned Service Changes

"The number one reason for divorce is marriage."

The Braggart

"In life, like in markets, there are peaks and troughs. You are a trough."

If life was a swimming pool, everyone would be in the shallow end.

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'

Memoirs

Potholes on the highway of life have caused some premature wear and tear on your chasis.

'Does the soundtrack to my life always have to be played on a wobble board?'

We believe taking the fast lane on the highway of life just gets you to the exit ramp sooner.

'I'd just like to go back to the 'all this' that Ed took me away from.'

'Postpartum depression really hits you the day they turn 30, don't have a job and still live at home.'

'I feel I've finally achieved closure in our relationship.'

"They say that on your death bed it is not the thing you have done that you regret but the things you haven't. In my case like being a millionaire!"

'Can you imagine anything worse...'

'Ready for your performance review?'

Please Help! Not unemployed, just living beyond my means.