Health Assessment Gifts

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

PSA Banter.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'