Life Evaluators Gifts

'Does the soundtrack to my life always have to be played on a wobble board?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Life and Death

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

Trust me, it's scarier than the skull and crossbones ever was!

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

Street sign: 'Life gets even more complicated here to corner.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Life is just four letters...

Sex Score

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

'You got the job, the family and now the fancy car. But it's not enough, is it? No, my friend, it's never enough.'

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

"... No, you're not my first husband. But, you're the first one who's ever been married to me."

Hearse on an emergency