Life Reassessment Gifts

'The New Year break really gives you a chance to have a fresh look at life...at what you're achieving with your limited time on this earth.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"It's a new take on the whole work/life balance thing. . . Anybody who has a life needs to be given more work."

Desk at the Horizon

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

'My whole life flashed before my eyes. I want to talk to the guy who did the editing.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

'I found enlightenement, and I still pull down my $250,000 per. What more can I ask?'

Retiring from the rat race

The meaning of life...

'Is this really where we wanted to be at this stage of our lives?'

"Yeah, I'm at that awkward age where all my friends are starting families, or rehab."

"Are you ready to rock within your means so as not to lose sight of what’s really important?"

'I'm afraid I don't see a future with Brent, he still calls them 'freedom fries'.'

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"With the help of Workaholics Anonymous, I was able to quit my job and take my life back."

I like worms --- I just don't know if I want to make them my life's work.

'Our accountant says we're going broke. What should we do?' - 'Hire an economist. They also get it wrong.'

"According to these calculations, you have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the afternoon."

"Life"

"That 12th step is a doozy."

"Of course there is. Don't forget the drippy thing."

'Sometimes I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day -- but I wouldn't list it under 'career goals.'

"My motto was 'Go with the Flow," but I had no idea it ended up here."

Planned Service Changes

"The ninth life."

We must have turned off the highway of life somewhere. When you're traveling on it the twists and turns come with absolutely no warning.

'They say youth is wasted on the young but I think old age comes at a pretty lousy time too.'

"On the other hand, if I die next week this isn't a midlife crisis."

Is there anything worse than the aging process? The thing that comes after the aging process.