Career Reassessment Gifts

'Let's just say that I'm at one of those intervals in my career where I need to tweak my personal definition of success a bit!'

37 years in the same position.

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

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'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"I've lost my mojo."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

'I am an unhappy employee.'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

"No, I like my job. I like my apartment. I like my friends. I like our relationship. I'm just not sure I like what it all adds up to."

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

'If you knew that economics was the 'dismal science,' why did you become an economist?'