Career Reassessment Gifts

'Let's just say that I'm at one of those intervals in my career where I need to tweak my personal definition of success a bit!'

37 years in the same position.

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

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'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I've lost my mojo."

'Actually I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

'I am an unhappy employee.'

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

"No, I like my job. I like my apartment. I like my friends. I like our relationship. I'm just not sure I like what it all adds up to."

'If you knew that economics was the 'dismal science,' why did you become an economist?'