Career Analysis Gifts

'But what if we are at the top of our game?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

Do you have any other skills?

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

Working 9 to 5.

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."