Career Analyst Gifts

Homeless trainee.

'The good news is that our latest campaign has MASSIVELY improved understanding of the job status and prospects.'

"I hate performance review season."

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

Overdraft limit.

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'What I'm challenging this group to do, then, is to redirect our shared passion for the idea of making money into actually making money!'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'Kids, if I'd gotten into computers, instead of baseball, I'd have a job now!'

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

'The company is losing millions and the press are asking questions. Gentlemen,we're looking for a scapegoat.'

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

'I'm sorry, but we're looking for a seasoned veteran.'

"It's the boss's son, what can I do about it?"

The Establishment: Independent Thought

"He claims he does the work of two employees."