Childhood Analyst Gifts

"Why are they always pushing quality on us?"

Swings Doctor

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

A boy and his spin patrol.

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

Kids' energy levels

'They sort of grow on you.'

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

The meaning of life...

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

'Motherly radar, we've know about. Now we suspect motherly in-home surveillance cameras.'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'How many are just staying together for the kids? OK, that's good, very good.'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

"What's it like to have sexually active parents?"

"It's hard to believe the adults think he's so lovable!"

"Watch yourself--we're under surveillance."

These days in Hamelin the piper casts a very lonely shadow. . . improvements in sanitation have mostly controlled the rats, while social media has total control over the children!!

"I'm getting a little tired of social media. He got mad at me so he said he is going to 'undad' me."

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

"Mothers Day is coming up. What shouldn't we do to make sure mom enjoys it?"

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

'You gotta try different things! Sometimes a temper tantrum works best an' somethimes sulking an' sometimes not eating!'

Boy wonders what would happen if his dad's computer got a virus.

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

"We expecting your mother tonight?"

'He's three tomorrow and from now on everything he sees will probably be repeats!'

"That's the trouble when you visit your parents - no matter how old you are they end up treating you like a child again."

"So I blame you for everything - whose fault is that?"