Childhood Behavior Analyst Gifts

"Mothers Day is coming up. What shouldn't we do to make sure mom enjoys it?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Kids' energy levels

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"People are crazy."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

Sigmund Freud

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

Swings Doctor

"It reminds me of the very first ad that ever swayed me into buying something I didn't really want."

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

Silent Body Language

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."