Child Behavior Analyst Gifts

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Kids' energy levels

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"People are crazy."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."