Child Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Kids' energy levels

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

Teacher to king and queen: "He keeps invading other children's space."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"Dr. Jeckyl and... Mr. Internet"

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

'That's what I wanted to ask you about.'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."