Youthful Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

'You gotta try different things! Sometimes a temper tantrum works best an' somethimes sulking an' sometimes not eating!'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Hoodie Hang-out

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Children arguing over the name of a fish

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

Kids' energy levels

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

'All those years of teaching me to walk and talk. . . now all they want is for me to sit down and shut up!'

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

Sigmund Freud

Swings Doctor

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

Silent Body Language

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

'Dad, I have commissioned my buddy to study your behavior patterns.'

'I've had it up to here with your demonization of the culture of childhood.'

"Why are they always pushing quality on us?"

'It's not fair! I'm socially excluded from gang culture.'

"I can't make you look younger, but I can make you look like you've had a lot of expensive plastic surgery."

"I was fired everywhere because I have no manners. Give me some money, you b*@£%d!"