Behavioral Analysts T-Shirts

Flexible

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Hoodie Hang-out

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Failures.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

Pavlov's Dream

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

"People are crazy."

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Kids' energy levels

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"