Behavior Analyst T-Shirts

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

'Don't believe a word I tell you.'

Sigmund Freud

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

Attitude Counselor

Silent Body Language

Speculative hoarders in times of scarcity.

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

'Men always crack right when it seems they're staring to understand us.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"People are crazy."

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Hoodie Hang-out

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'