Misbehavior Analyst Gifts

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Hoodie Hang-out

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

"People are crazy."

Kids' energy levels

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Illustration for 'Eleanor's Victory' by Miss Braddon, scene 2.

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload