Human Behavior Analyzers Gifts

Body Language...

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'You show me how to pass that ridiculous company loyalty test, and I'll show you how to always land on your feet!'

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"You have a remarkable lack of curiosity about your co-workers."

"People are crazy."

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

Respect Zone: 'We respect yobs.'

'Please Miss, I know why birds fly south in the winter. It's because it's too far to walk!'

There's just no excuse for your behavior, Al. I thought it was your job to find one, doctor.

"Why would I demean myself to be Master's best friend when I can be Master's master?"

"We assumed they were raised by wolves, but I'm beginning to believe they were raised by stray dogs."k Upload

You're right. It's not fear I smell but angst with a hint of regret.