Habit Analyzers Gifts

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

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'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'Stop repeating yourself, Brown!'

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

"He never closes the door when he leaves, which is strange because he hates when I leave a tab open."

"I keep reading 'Lord of the Rings' over and over again...!"

'It seems that he was too optimistic. His glass of water wasn't half full. Obviously, it was completely empty.'

Body Language...

"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"

I USED to know everybody by name. Now they're just Tuneless Whistle, Hacking Cough and Knuckle Pop.

Sharing the bed - or not.

"Here comes crazy old cousin Harriett, who scratches in all the wrong spots."

"You've come a long way, baby."

'You lost something, didn't you. . . You're looking for something. What is it? Well, you're driving me nuts. I'm going shopping.'

'Did you know that your lips move when you text?'

The Scene of the Crime