Habit Tracker Gifts

"You can set your clock by him...remind me to board up the windows by closing time."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

Woman and scales.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

Addiction Research Centre.

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

The Ten Resolutions

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

"When I said I needed to look at your diet I meant a list!"

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'

Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.