Habit Detective Gifts

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

Sharing the bed - or not.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

Addiction Research Centre.

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

The Ten Resolutions

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'

"He never closes the door when he leaves, which is strange because he hates when I leave a tab open."