Habit Enthusiast Gifts

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

'It's true that the order has relaxed the dress code somewhat, Sister Catherine, but spandex is still a no-no.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"No matter how many times Martha berated Tony, she just couldn't break him of his habit of not chewing his food."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"It has come to my attention, Collins, that you are hydrating on company time."

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Rodin's Nailbiter.

'I have decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of the bedroom.'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'Stop repeating yourself, Brown!'

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

"I'm giving up giving up!"

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

Smoking away money.

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"

'Honey you're roaring.'

I want to develop a routine. It'll make me more interesting. How so? A person who regularly does the same things at the same time is boring. Either that, or he's establishing an alibi to cover for nefarious deeds he's controlling from a distance using apps on a disposable smart phone. I bet you're wondering what my other hand's doing under this table right now. Never say that sentence again in life.

"There's the UPS truck, but that's not Justin. What's going on?! Where the #@*! is Justin?!"

Participation awards: You didn't eat all the fries; You're trying to scroll less; You remembered to bring the reusable bag to the store; You flossed!; Someone else was later than you.

Ernie made a couple of new year's resolutions --- to cut down on his little fibs and to focus on building his career. Your new resume says you were a "Theater Director"? Sure, you remember I was an usher. "Experienced white collar worker"? My job at the dry cleaner. Ernie, you were never a "circuit judge"! I inspected electrical work. Well, at least he's keeping one of his resolutions, so he's doing better than most of us!

I USED to know everybody by name. Now they're just Tuneless Whistle, Hacking Cough and Knuckle Pop.

Sharing the bed - or not.

'Ron's managed to stop smoking but he's put on an awful lot of weight.'