Career Advisers Gifts

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'