Career Advising Gifts

'The meaning of life?.. You want the next mountain along.'

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

"So is it mainly hunting or gathering you're interested in?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'