Career Advice Seeker Gifts

"I need a sounding board, Mr. Wiley. Could you be that?"

A father scolding his son.

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

Day one, post grad

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'I didn't have time to prepare a resume.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"The labor market is awaiting you!"