Financial Reassessment Gifts

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

'Our accountant says we're going broke. What should we do?' - 'Hire an economist. They also get it wrong.'

"According to these calculations, you have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the afternoon."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

"Dammit, Hopkins... It's the fiscal new year!"

Bureau of Inflation.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

Board Meeting

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'