Financial Changes Gifts

Newly Non-Mega-Rich

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"I just..."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in tech stocks', meet Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in bio-tech'.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

The End of Trump?

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'I think we may have an income problem.'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"I'm not sure I'm interested in Trump's tax returns. I'm frightened enough by ours."

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

"If I were money, you'd listen to me."

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

"Found meat is income."

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"Hope you know how fortunate you are...next year's tax forms get complicated..."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."