Major Change Gifts

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"We can still be friends, Roger. I just don't want you to be one of my vice-presidents anymore."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"Welcome shareholders to the annual report - let us pray."

'It's good to be back, Ms. Norton.. did anything important happen while I was away?'

"The company is in deep water? Why do you think so?"

"You haven't been terminated, just your paycheck."

'Because of cost cuts, your computer and telephone got removed. Just make a 'Click-Click' noise for typing, 'Bzzt-Bzzt' for printing and 'Ring-Ring' for incoming calls.'

"...there's a right way and a wrong way to clear your desk!"

Pope Francis

"Tarzan didn't want to downsize, but he took an early retirement – and then Jane got the axe."

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

'We're reducing office space, Trubshaw. You're under 'T' below.'

"Sometimes it feels like the whole world's been turned upside down."

"You're moving in with us? We were going to move in with you."

'Hey, that's a new ribbon... have you been fighting again?'

Announcing the Fad Herald. I am not worthy. Coffee. Black. Straight coffee. Are fancy espresso drinks out? Is that your pronouncement? No pronouncement. My hours have been cut back. I'm here on my own time. Furloughs are in?! You're reading too much into this. Interpretations are out.

Real High Tech, Inc: 'Under New Management. . . Under Newer Management.'

Under New Management

Businessman threatening to sack his wife.

I love the optimism on new year's day! Yeah, breaking the seal on a new year is link unpacking a new gadget. It's all shiny and it seems like in some way, big or small, your life is going to get better

Newly Non-Mega-Rich

"I guess there've been more staff cuts than we thought."

"It looks like I survived the downsizing."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. Then you'll finish up a report on whether your client's edgy new marketing tactics have been resonating with the 18-34 demographic. The results will be inconclusive and your boss will say, 'Jared, there'll always be another Instagram-based influence strategy to review,' but she also takes a while to approve your annual leave request and you will suspect that the two are related."

"One final thing….Did you take anything from the mini bar?"