Career Reassignment Gifts

"We've decided not to discharge you. You've been assigned to work in an army surplus store."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Pipe Dream.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."