Career Shift Gifts

"I don't have any qualifications, but I do have bags of energy and ethusiasm"

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

'Congratulations-after 25 years we've found you a job in a gold watch factory!'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'How could you have worked in your previous job for 35 years? You're only 32 years old. I did a lot of overtime.'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Opportunity came knocking once, but I missed it. I was expecting a tweet."

"I'm hoping to move up to fired."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Others will fight for you

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.