Changing Careers Gifts

"I see by your résumé that you're a woman."

"I'm sorry, Foster, but you don't seem to be fitting in around here."

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Cat job interviews.'

Caged Businessman

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

'Strangest interview I've ever been on. To see if I was a team player, he asked me to spot him a twenty.'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"I need to sign a non-compete just for a job interview?"

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

"Stupid bean counter!"

"You're a bit overqualified for this position, how good are you are forgetting everything you know?"

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

Bobby-Ray tries to become a chicken breeder

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

Idiot wanted, apply within.

'Your résumé is perfect, Ms. Newborn, so at this point I should tell you that our Executive Vice President's position requires occasional nudity.'

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

Career Decisions

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

"I haven't always been a cowboy, you know."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."