Changing Careers Gifts

"I see by your résumé that you're a woman."

"I'm sorry, Foster, but you don't seem to be fitting in around here."

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Cat job interviews.'

Caged Businessman

"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

'Strangest interview I've ever been on. To see if I was a team player, he asked me to spot him a twenty.'

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"I need to sign a non-compete just for a job interview?"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

"Stupid bean counter!"

"You're a bit overqualified for this position, how good are you are forgetting everything you know?"

"Erm, fireman, teacher, train driver, anything that offers plenty of time off via strike action?"

Bobby-Ray tries to become a chicken breeder

'According to your resume, you multitask at the four person level. Here, our minimum starts at five.'

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

Idiot wanted, apply within.

'Your résumé is perfect, Ms. Newborn, so at this point I should tell you that our Executive Vice President's position requires occasional nudity.'

The Greatest Resignation

"It's actually a nice change. Before Eddie's business failed we were living in a gilded cage."

Career Decisions

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

"I haven't always been a cowboy, you know."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman