Career Switch Gifts

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"You look good, Douglas, but I'm afraid we're not looking for an 'It Boy' right now."

"My last job was as a mine interpreter...I would go to a park and describe what the mime was trying to convey."

'Here's my resume. It's loosely based on true story.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Others will fight for you

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"