Career Switch T-Shirts

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"You look good, Douglas, but I'm afraid we're not looking for an 'It Boy' right now."

"My last job was as a mine interpreter...I would go to a park and describe what the mime was trying to convey."

'Here's my resume. It's loosely based on true story.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"Now tell me, what do you think you would bring to our company?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."