Career Switch Enthusiasts Gifts

"I used to be a physician, but after being sued for malpractice I realized I was in the wrong profession!"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Caged Businessman

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

Respected Professionals

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

The Remote Olympics

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'Dang! My applications as a mailman, a football player and a dancing teacher got rejected. I guess I've got to go on hunting that stupid white whale...'

The job is yours if you want it – but, of course, I'd expect you to sleep on it a few dozen times before deciding.

When staffing agencies screw up.

'I'm hereby giving my two week notice and taking my last two weeks of vacation. I could use a positive reference. Thanks.'

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

"What can I DO? I'm Lightning Larry, for God's Sake!"

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."