Ethical Evaluator Gifts

'And as a new client of our law firm, you get this nifty neck brace to wear in court.'

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'Under disclosure rules, I'm required to tell you I own stock in the company whose

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

"Please do not feed the animals." "Please do not eat the people."

Sex Score

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Nortel Networks goes after executives to repay bonuses.

'I don't know why I'm here... nothing was ever my fault.'

"Has it been in your family long?"

The artist

'You say here you're a people person.'

"Everybody's somebody's contra."

"Peggy, can we find someone to misuse a few of these campaign funds for a run to the deli to get us some lunch?"

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

'Some mentor you turned you turned out to be.'

Talk of charities 'providing their impact' is dangerous and misleading.

'It's clearly the work of the devil. Nevertheless, I see no reason why we can't all share some of the credit.'