Ethics Observer Gifts

Senator Krupt has a frame on his wall containing his first bribe.

Moral Bankrupcy Court

Ethics exam cheater.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Moulting"

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"