Work Ethic Observer Gifts

'We discourage the question, 'Is it Friday yet?'. Especially considering it's your first day on the job.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"I can carry more pollen back to the hive that way..."

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

Peacock of Productivity

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"Oh come on, Dave! You know you're not supposed to come to work if you're sick."

"You say priorities, I hear suggestions."

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

'Memo to the wife...'

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"There are two kinds of students: perfectionists and procrastinators."

Job Bored

"There's such a thing as being TOO conscientious, Miller!"

"We want supervisors who know noses and never leave a grindstone unturned."