Work Ethic Observer Gifts

'We discourage the question, 'Is it Friday yet?'. Especially considering it's your first day on the job.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"I can carry more pollen back to the hive that way..."

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

Peacock of Productivity

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

"Oh come on, Dave! You know you're not supposed to come to work if you're sick."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"You say priorities, I hear suggestions."

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

'Memo to the wife...'

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

Iraq War inquiry denied secret Bush-Blair documents.

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."

Back to Work

Job Bored

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'