Work Ethic Ponderer Gifts

'Minimalism is fine in design, but not in work attendance."

''Earn our bread by the sweat of our brow'? -- what about cold cuts?'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"I can carry more pollen back to the hive that way..."

Water company bonus.

The Price of Freedom

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

Peacock of Productivity

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

"Oh come on, Dave! You know you're not supposed to come to work if you're sick."

Surgical Self-Service

"You say priorities, I hear suggestions."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

"You want self-motivation? Look! I have my own carrot and stick!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice, Lord Mayor of London.

'As much time and effort as he puts into this job, you'd think there was some money in it.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

"That painting's not going to paint itself."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

'Do everything ethically ... within reason, of course.'

Job Bored

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."