Ethics Examiner Gifts

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'I don't know why I'm here... nothing was ever my fault.'

"So what if he paid a classmate to do his homework – it was his own allowance."

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

'It's clearly the work of the devil. Nevertheless, I see no reason why we can't all share some of the credit.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'Thank you for not guessing.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

Examiners.

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Office of quality assurance"

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

"Smart Arse"

Lambs to the Slaughter

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers